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高考英語滿分作文及名師點評:換手機

時間: 欣欣2 高考英語作文

  【湖北卷】

  【試題】假設你是卜曼宜,你購買了一部某外國公司生產(chǎn)的手機,因有質(zhì)量問題,要求該公司更換。請根據(jù)下列要點,用英文寫一封電子郵件。

  要點:1. 問題:手機不響鈴,不能發(fā)短信;該產(chǎn)品已售完,無法更換;型號新,無配件,無法維修。2. 要求:公司應盡快予以更換。

  注意:1. 詞數(shù)為100左右;

  2. 參考詞匯:配件—— spare part;

  3. 電子郵件的開頭和結(jié)尾已為你寫好(不計入你所寫詞數(shù));

  4.已給出的電子郵件的開頭和結(jié)尾不得抄入答題卡。

  Dear Sir,

  I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan, P.R. China. Ten days after that, it didn’t ring and send short messages. Then I took it to the seller, but was told that the model had been sold out and I had to wait at least three months for a new one. I had no choice but to go to the repairman. To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts. I was so desperate on hearing that for I can not wait that long. Therefore, I have to require that you send me a new one of the same model within a month.

  Thank you for your consideration.

  Sincerely yours,

  Bu Manyi

  【名師點評】

  本文內(nèi)容要點齊全,語言豐富,結(jié)構合理,如頭兩句說明了購買手機后發(fā)現(xiàn)故障的情況,中間部分說明了無法維修而必須讓公司更換手機的原委,最后明確提出自己的要求,明白流暢,將題目所提出的要點全部表達清楚,較好的完成了任務。全文以一般過去時為基調(diào),結(jié)合主動語態(tài)與被動語態(tài),并使用了so, but, therefore 等連接詞,使文章結(jié)構完整嚴密。固定短語,如be sold out ,at least, had no choice but to go, to my disappointment, on hearing that 等的使用,使文章的語言顯得地道而精煉。

  積累卡片英漢互譯

  好詞1. disappointment n.失望 2.desperate adj.絕望的 3. consideration n.體諒

  好句To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts.

  令我失望的是,他說因為在中國是新款手機,所以沒有配件來修理。

  評析:復雜句的組織; to my disappointment, 常用短語。

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